30th
5 Band Poses That Must Be Retired
1. The middle finger. There is nothing in the least bit rebellious or edgey about flipping the bird at the camera, and there hasn’t been for decades. Johnny Cash owns it, it’s over. It’s more Rush Limbaugh now than Johnny Rotten. Stop it.
2. Shots in front of railroad tracks. Do I have to even explain? Cease and decist.
3. The “lounging next to or leaning intently over a massive mixing console” pose. Are we done with this one please? I mean, first of all nobody cares - you’re “in the studio” - wow! Can I have your Kleenex? 12 year olds make records on their laptops, and you use Pro-Tools when the photographer leaves anyway. That huge Trident or Neve board that Aerosmith sniffed lines off of does not have “the sound,” and taking shots in front of an endless sea of faders without handing out air sickness bags is rude.
4. The brick wall shot. How many of these are there, one wonders? Look, if you’re not going to immolate yourself in front of it while your bass player crashes through in a GTO like Wendy O’Williams through a wall of exploding televisions, no more bricks.
5. The “we’re not posing” pose. There are many variations on this and they’re all bad. You’re posing. So pose, make it look good. Only a complete poser would pretend to not be posing in a band shot.
